#29 – Triste.

Have you ever felt hopeless? Unaccomplished?

I have. Most of the time.

I often feel inferior to others because I always think I’m not good enough for anybody or anything. This probably resulted from me over thinking small matters. I don’t feel happiness as often as I should anymore. I feel like everything is a contest of some sort. I have tried numerous times to stop myself from feeling this way. I want to let go and not care, I want to feel happy but somehow I can’t. I just can’t.

You know the saying “the grass is always greener on the other side”? I always think others have it all or they at least are better off than me in so many aspects. I know I should learn to be grateful for what I have and be happy but I just can’t stop comparing myself to others. Maybe I’ll never stop, maybe I’ll never be happy. Who knows?

Despite being surrounded by wonderful friends and the best family anyone could ask for, I still feel lonely at times. I feel it’s just nice to have someone who genuinely cares for you and only you. Literally almost everyone I know has someone. Be it best friends, partners or a really close-knitted family. Well in my case, my best friend and I can go several months without any form of communication. I feel like he just acts like he cares but he really couldn’t be bothered by me since he has a girlfriend and a new life elsewhere. My family’s close but you know sometimes there’s conflict and a small gap that can never be closed.

I think it’s my fault really, I’m too afraid to commit to anything because I feel everything is just temporary. I’m not comfortable opening up to others because I don’t want to be judged by them. I’m already imperfect, so I don’t want to add more of it towards myself. I have tried changing for the better but I guess fear got the better of me.  I also like being alone and not depending on others because I just do. I don’t mind people depending on me but but I don’t feel secure when I depend on others. I don’t know why.

Thank you for entertaining my rants though I don’t think anyone would really read this.

This afternoon, I was at a lovely cafe. Bought myself a cup of macadamia infused latte and had a slice of Nutella cake. Life, to me it was perfect for that short moment. Then *poof*, back to reality.

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Hope you guys have a lovely week ahead!

As I get older, I’m more and more comfortable being alone – Sienna Miller -

#28 – Pensées.

Hi.

This semester has probably got to be the most hectic and nerve-wrecking semester I have ever endured.

So many assignments, tests and quizzes.

I just wanna curl up in bed and sleep all day.

I have finals in less than a week.

Literally four and a half weeks till I leave home.

I’m feeling really overwhelmed.

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another – William James -

#27 – Lumières.

hello, how are you guys? Hope you’re in the best of health.

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This is probably the ultimate foodporn. Such beauty emits from this photo. Love love love fries and nuggets ❤️

I was always a junk food person, still am – Dolly Parton -

#26 – Reconnaisant.

I am grateful for everything,
For every opportunity I was given,
For every person that has loved me,
And that I have loved back.

I am grateful for everything,
For all that has happened,
For being able to live another day,
As I open my eyes every morning.

I am grateful for everything,
For all things I got to see,
For everything that has happened,
Both the good and bad.

I am grateful.

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In the midst of my last semester. As time flies, I am feeling anxious to start the next chapter in life. I don’t know why, I just am.

Anyways, have a lovely week ahead. Adièu.

We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our lives – John F. Kennedy -

#25 – Peur.

Hello again my little chamber of rants. I’m so sorry for not blogging. The short semester has been busy and tiring all at once! I’ve started applying to universities for the Spring 2015 intake. I don’t like the process of it at all, not one bit. It’s so taxing and annoying and demanding, yeah… you know what I mean. I can’t wait for that to be over with.

Yesterday was the last day of my fifth semester and I now have one more to go!

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I promise to update more often! Until then, adieu.

Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.” -Mark Twain -

#24 – Enfin fini!

Sorry for leaving this blog of mine for so long! I’ve been so so busy. Finally, I’m done with my most hectic semester yet! This semester was so bad, I wanted to scream and cry at everyone I see. In the meantime, I’ve been going to plenty of places, really nice places. One place that caught my eye was in Empire Damansara, the place was breathtakingly beautiful. Here’s a picture;

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I’ve been feeling distant from everyone lately, been spending a lot of quality time with my family. I just hope you guys have a marvelous day and many more ahead of you! Until then, see you.

Being weak doesn’t make you worthless. Being strong doesn’t make you invincible but having both sides makes you, you. – Daniel Becker -

#23 – Nostalgique.

It’s been quite some time since I last posted something. How are y’all doing? I just ended my stressful test period, time to relax for a bit then back to my pile of assignments waiting to be touched. Some of my butus are going to leave soon. I feel really really sad and depressed. I’m excited about flying off but the process of applying is not making anything pleasant. Here’s a picture I took at the clubhouse. have a good day everyone!

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Until then, au revoir.

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none. – William Shakespeare -